Tuesday, August 23, 2011

When you are talking politics or religion with someone who is a moron

FROM THE DESK OF DOCTOR B. D. SEPTIVE: The Self-Helpiest of all the Self-Help Gurus

 You must ask yourself, “Why am I here engaged in a discussion with Uncle Harry about the Apostles’ ideas for Social Security?”  You should have learned the last time you talked to Uncle Harry when he regaled you with stories about the Apostle Stubby.  He told you the Apostle Stubby dressed up like a donkey and carried Mary into Bethlehem.  Aside from the fact that Stubby would have needed a partner to dress up in a donkey suit, and the fact that donkey suits were not readily available in the year 1 B.C., how could someone be an Apostle before Jesus was even born?  Well, Harry says that’s because Stubby was so short nobody ever took him seriously and that’s why he was left out of the Bible.  Is it a coinky-dink that Uncle Harry is 5 foot 1?
            Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being 5 foot 1 but Uncle Harry has never asked himself, “Who am I?”  Do you know why?  It’s because he is not comfortable with who he is.  He is not comfortable enough to ask himself the hard questions, the questions that will set him free from the chains he has coiled around his body and mind. The fact of the matter is Uncle Harry doesn’t want to be 5 foot 1 because he’s haunted by the memory of being trapped in his high school locker, the victim of an atomic wedgie.  He doesn’t realize he is 5 foot 1 only in his physical body.  He has never tried to see himself outside the box, the wedgie locker of his own making.
            This leads us back to the question, “who are you?”  Of course you understand you are you and nobody else can be you but you.  If you give in to the notion that you have to do or be what someone else’s idea of you is, you will forever be bouncing on the wrong pogo stick.  You are the one with the answers.  All you have to do is open your mind to the right page.

NEXT TIME:  When you are watching someone eat an entire birthday cake by herself then listening to her complain about her weight


Terry C. said...

Love it. Funny and profound...a difficult thing to accomplish.

Terry C.

Julie said...

You know better than to get into "that" conversation, but next thing you know . . . bam . .. you're villigantly discussing politics and/or religion. Why?