Friday, August 12, 2011

When you are driving to work

FROM THE DESK OF DOCTOR B. D. SEPTIVE: The Self-Helpiest of all Self-Help Gurus
            When you are driving to work, ask yourself, “Why am I here?”  The obvious answer is you can’t get to work if you don’t drive.  But is that really the obvious answer?  You could take the bus.  You could ride your bike.  You could surf.  The more you ask yourself why you are here the more you will have to think about your life.  The more you think about your life, the more reasons you will come up with to look for more reasons.
            So why are you here, going four miles an hour on the freeway?  Don’t you have better things to do?  Wouldn’t you rather be sunning yourself in the backyard hammock, enjoying a drink of your choice?  Wouldn’t you rather be dancing in the La Brea Tar Pits?  Wouldn’t you rather be getting a root canal?  Well, a root canal will be the least of your worries if you can’t figure out who you are or why you’re here.  If you can’t do that you can’t do anything   Well, you can breathe, of course.  And you can shower if you want.  And you can keep driving to work, but where is it getting you?  Nowhere.  And what is it getting you?  Nothing.  And how is it getting you?   With a pain right in your pancreas.   You can keep doing those things but you won’t be living.  You’ll merely be existing.  That is not why you’re here.
            But is it who you are?  If you’re asking this it means you are thinking about it.  It proves you want to change your self,  your mind,  your rubber pants.  Will you change everything?   Absolutely not.  You will take your inside and proudly show it to all who are watching your outside.  In so doing you will reveal the you that is really you.
            So, which you is the real you?  Are you the you on the inside, yearning to get out or the you on the outside, counting your freckles?  Most people are somewhere in between Liza Minnelli flamboyantly singing Cabaret and Seymour at the diner who never looks up except to say “Patty Melt”. 
            How do you know which you is you?  You have to ask yourself.  You have to keep asking yourself, over and over again until the answer hits you like a high kick to the chops.  When your jaw gets sore, you’ll be on your way.  But on your way to where?  Exactly.   

NEXT TIME: When you're at the grocery store

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