MORE FROM THE DESK OF DOCTOR B. D. SEPTIVE: The Self-Helpiest of all the Self-Help Gurus
When you’re listening to music, who are you? Do you become Pete Townsend if you’re listening to The Who? Are you Angus when you listen to Cheap Trick? Are you that guy whose name nobody remembers when you listen to Foo Fighters? Only you can answer these questions.
So who are you and who do you want to be? If you answered with two different names you’ve got work to do. You are you and you should want to be you. If you don’t want to be you, you will always be disappointed because you will always be you. If you aren’t you, then I’ve been talking to the wrong person for all these pages.
Of course you will always be you, but which you do you really want to be? Do you want to be the you that helped Mrs. Guacamole across the street yesterday? Or do you want to be the you who yelled at little Freddie because his baseball broke one of your petunias? Mrs. Guacamole gave you a huge smile followed by an unexpected slap on your rump. When you got home you noticed she had slipped her phone number into your hip pocket. Little Freddie ran home crying because you said he throws like Richard Simmons.
So, which you is the real you? Well, they both are. But you get to decide which one will be out in public. If you want to scream obscenities in your basement while you destroy all the furniture with a sledge hammer, that’s up to you, too. Of course you’ll be awfully tired afterwards but it just might be good therapy. Some of the most famous leaders in world history maintained crash and burn rooms for the sake of their own sanity. I’m not going to name names but you know who you are, Dick Cheney. Remember, it’s really up to you. You are in charge. Be the bull or be the bully. Be the monk or the monkey. The pen or the penny. It’s your call but make it wisely because if you choose to be the monk you might have to stop talking for a year or two.
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