Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Loving Yourself

            Most of us love to make love.  If you love to make love, you should make love to yourself.  Don’t get confused.  I’m not talking about making love by yourself.  That’s a whole different box of tissues.  I mean make yourself feel like a royal princess.  Draw a nice, hot bath.  Then put down your drawing pad and turn on the water.  Take off your clothes and feel the relaxation as it washes over you, engulfing you with all its comfort, all its pleasures.  Feel the steam rising up through your nostrils and your privates.  Now, stop standing over the tea kettle and get in the tub.
            If it’s a tub with feet give yourself and your bathtub a pedicure.  Paint your toenails with a nice, vibrant neon color, perhaps Azure, Orchid, or Rutabaga.  Doesn’t it feel sensual to have the same color toenails as your tub?  You’re darn tootin’ it does.  Of course you’ll have to be very careful not to get the nail polish in the water, so stick your feet up until they hang outside the tub at a 45 degree angle.  Comfy?  Good.  Perhaps you could have a candlelit dinner delivered to your bathroom.  You’ll not only enjoy a splendid meal of fine Merlot, dwarf potatoes, and tenderly roasted squab but it’s a sure bet you’ll get a big tip from the delivery boy.    
            Now it’s time to tell yourself how much you love you.  Speak passionately about your long, wet, soapy hair and all the dark orange discharge under your fingernails.  Turn on some soft jazz or Motley Crue and make up a poem about all the traits that make you a perfect mate such as your engaging charm, your silky skin, and your acne in the shape of a Leprechaun.  Talk about your wonderful personality.  No, talk about both of your wonderful personalities and all the amazing things the three of you have collected from various establishments without offering payment.        
            Now that you’ve sweet talked yourself into a blissful state of delight, you’re ready to ask yourself a very important question.  Look right in the mirror, straight into those big yellow eyes of yours and say, “My lovely, would you mind if I turn on the video camera?  I promise nobody will ever see it but us.”  Your answer will tell you a lot about how much you trust yourself and those around you, if you ever get to the point where there actually are others around you.                                                     
            One of my first patients couldn’t figure out how to love herself.  She simply did not feel ready for that kind of a commitment.  She had a long talk with herself and finally said, “Look, it’s not me, it’s me.”  This is very common.  Usually, one of you feels a little differently about the relationship than the other one of you.  That’s okay.  But I’m proud to say she worked through her differences with herself.  After many hot baths, long conversations, and a few stitches, they began to see the good in each other.  The same joyful results can be yours.  But you have to make it happen.  Remember, you are in charge.

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