know it costs more, but it’s worth it.
It tastes a lot better and it’s much less harmful to Mother Earth. But why do we say Mother Earth? Why not Father Earth, Grandma Earth, or Crazy
Uncle Twisted Earth who lives in the root cellar because it's closer to
Hell? If his greatest desire is to sit a few steps up the staircase from eternal fire and damnation I suppose that’s his own business. But must he continually create
Hell on Earth for those around him? Next
time you go down there, ask why he insists on chewing tobacco and spitting the
juice on the wall. And don’t buy his
stupid story about creating an abstract expressionist painting of Custer’s Last
Stand. He knows full well Custer never
wore a top hat and tails on the battlefield.