Most of us love to make
love. If you love to make love, you
should make love to yourself. Don’t get
confused. I’m not talking about making
love by yourself. That’s a whole different box of tissues. I mean make yourself feel like a royal
princess. Draw a nice, hot bath. Then put down your drawing pad and turn on
the water. Take off your clothes and
feel the relaxation as it washes over you, engulfing you with all its comfort,
all its pleasures. Feel the steam rising
up through your nostrils and your privates.
Now, stop standing over the tea kettle and get in the tub.
If
it’s a tub with feet give yourself and your bathtub a pedicure. Paint your toenails with a nice, vibrant neon
color, perhaps Azure, Orchid, or Rutabaga.
Doesn’t it feel sensual to have the same color toenails as your
tub? You’re darn tootin’ it does. Of course you’ll have to be very careful not
to get the nail polish in the water, so stick your feet up until they hang
outside the tub at a 45 degree angle.
Comfy? Good. Perhaps you could have a candlelit dinner
delivered to your bathroom. You’ll not
only enjoy a splendid meal of fine Merlot, dwarf potatoes, and tenderly roasted
squab but it’s a sure bet you’ll get a big tip from the delivery boy.
Now it’s time to
tell yourself how much you love you.
Speak passionately about your long, wet, soapy hair and all the dark
orange discharge under your fingernails.
Turn on some soft jazz or Motley Crue and make up a poem about all the
traits that make you a perfect mate such as your engaging charm, your silky
skin, and your acne in the shape of a Leprechaun. Talk about your wonderful personality. No, talk about both of your wonderful
personalities and all the amazing things the three of you have collected from
various establishments without offering payment.
Now
that you’ve sweet talked yourself into a blissful state of delight, you’re
ready to ask yourself a very important question. Look right in the mirror, straight into those
big yellow eyes of yours and say, “My lovely, would you mind if I turn on the
video camera? I promise nobody will ever
see it but us.” Your answer will tell
you a lot about how much you trust yourself and those around you, if you ever
get to the point where there actually are others around you.
One
of my first patients couldn’t figure out how to love herself. She simply did not feel ready for that kind
of a commitment. She had a long talk
with herself and finally said, “Look, it’s not me, it’s me.” This is very common. Usually, one of you feels a little
differently about the relationship than the other one of you. That’s okay.
But I’m proud to say she worked through her differences with
herself. After many hot baths, long
conversations, and a few stitches, they began to see the good in each
other. The same joyful results can be
yours. But you have to make it
happen. Remember, you are in charge.
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